Mixed Moss

I know so many people who don’t seem to be happy with their lives. When I talk to them, they tell me about the things that are wrong. And then they venture off into what they undoubtedly think is original to them, but which I find in each of them: the realm of What they Wish they were Doing. But, they have bills to pay and have to work all day at a job they don’t enjoy.

Everyone seems to have so many things they want to do. I hear a lot about how being happy is all a matter of attitude. Martha Washington once said, “I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.” I am very sure this is true. But I am young. I have time and I have freedom. I am at the time of life when I should be able to Do Stuff. On the other hand, I also have a lot of student loans. And, in nine months, will no longer have health insurance. And, I own no car. How to balance it all? Is it ok to say, like the mother on That ’70s Show, “I don’t give a good gosh darn” about financial security? Not very responsible. But whoever said that pure, sheer, undiluted, unadulterated responsibleness was the key to a fulfilling life?

It seems the secret to happiness is to find a way to stop wanting to do things, and to start doing what we want. But like all worthwhile things in life, that is easier said than done. Never-the-less, I am taking a solemn vow.

I will not look back on my life and regret never having had that adventure, or never pursuing that hobby, or never falling in love, or never taking that risk, or giving that extra little bit that I didn’t think I had it in me to give. I am going to stop wanting to do things, and start doing things I want. Today. Without lying to myself and telling myself that I have to wait until I’ve graduated, or until I have more time, or until I have a decent camera, or until I have money, or until I’ve learned more. I’m just going to do it. The best I can. Here and now.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 31st, 2004 at 10:06 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.