Happily Single? How About Just Plain Happily?
I have a friend who is really cool. She is so well adjusted. She’s not religious, not by any stretch. I don’t know whether she is agnostic or atheistic, but I mean to find out because I bet whichever she is, she has a really interesting reason for it.
I suppose most people would call her a bisexual. She doesn’t call herself that. She has had two serious dating relationships. One was with a girl. The other was with a guy. She never made a consious classification of herself as “I’m in love with this girl, so I must be a lesbian.” or “I’m now in love with this guy, so I must no longer be a lesbian, I’m straight again.” Nope. Each relationship just felt right to her at the time, and she didn’t question it.
Now, I’m not necessarily advocating that lifestyle. But the amazing thing to notice is that she doesn’t define herself by her relationships. Not by the fact that she is in one or isn’t in one, the way I do; not by what kind of one she is in, like most people do. A relationship is something she actively does, not something that magically does something to who she is. She is always telling me, “You care too much about what people think, Mel.” And she is always right. Christians always seem to talk about leading a happy single life, like the natural assumption would be the opposite. But really, what does it matter? Why can’t I just try to lead a happy life, period?
I want to be more like my friend someday. And I’m going to start working on it right now.
June 2nd, 2005 at 9:18 pm
You’re great Mel!
June 2nd, 2005 at 11:25 pm
I concurr.
June 3rd, 2005 at 3:35 pm
Kudos, Melba Toast. I agree with you completely. And I think your peers are an odd group who get so excited about boyfriends and relationships when those aren’t things that define your life. Relationships happen when you meet people and something clicks, and if that hasn’t happened well whoop-dee-doo you are doing fine being independent. God will put a great man in your life someday and it will be beautiful that you have waited so long for him. He may be glad that he doesn’t have to “live up to” any previous dudes who you dated.
When i think of you, I don’t profile you as Single, White, Female. You are just Melby. That means a lot of things that SWF can’t begin to encompass.
June 3rd, 2005 at 3:35 pm
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
June 3rd, 2005 at 4:24 pm
I got your little repeat for ya, Sarah.
No worries. I squashed it like the spider I squashed in my shower this morning…only an accidental double posting doesn’t make me shriek the way that spider did.
Nothing like an exciting interview with a creepy crawly to get you energized and start the morning right.–>