OK, New Life Plan!
I’m about 50% serious with it, too.
So if you’re familiar with my blog, you’ll remember that I’m busy writing a book: The Summer of the Weddings.
Step 1) Write The Summer of the Weddings. It’s going to be the next big ChickLit bestseller, and will be prominantly displayed in Barnes & Nobles stores nationwide– but not, of course, in Books-A-Million, because my sister is a B&N employee.
Step 2) Get rich by selling the movie rights and move to Southeast Asia as a volunteer to help victims of the sex trade, where I will get plenty of material for my next novel (light, summer-vacation reading about a determined, under-estimated secretary for a faith-based non-profit that conducts sting operations on brothels, who accidentally turns sleuth and saves the day after getting into a plethora of fantastic and barely-believable cliff-hangers, without even breaking a nail), as well as a “think piece” for the New Yorker and a segment on NPR.
Step 3) Buy this point I will have such entree that I will be able to write the book I really want to write: The Secert Lives of Secretaries. (All about what secretaries really think. After all, who wants an AA to have a mind of her own? No ideas or opinions necessary, please just do as I ask you faster than is, actually, possible while I look over your shoulder and micromanage you. And by the way, the copier’s doing that funny thing again. Could you fix it? Or call the copier guy? Great.)
Step 4) And then I won’t have any more wedding or baby shower invites, because people will be too scared that I would put them in my highly-anticipated sequel to my first novel, Summer of the Weddings. Remember that one? (Did I say baby shower? Yes I did. Because one of my sorority sisters just annoucned that she’s pregnant. It starts! In two to three years, I will be just as slammed with showers to attend for babies as I am now for weddings.)
May 17th, 2006 at 8:01 pm
I love this post … you made me smile. I swear I could hear the tone and inflection in your voice even though I don’t know you … maybe you should write a book or two or three!
Cheers!
May 17th, 2006 at 9:51 pm
Nice. Not quite sure I’ll be a reader (It would be the first time I’ve read chick lit that’s for sure.), but it sounds like some great material to write about.
May 17th, 2006 at 11:34 pm
Trust me Christina, the actual inflections are WAAAAY better!!!
And Mel, I have the 2006 edition of the Writer’s market, a book with tips on getting publishes and contact info for a lot of publishers. Feel free to borrow it.
May 18th, 2006 at 5:02 am
Hey Mel!
Who´s having a kid?
May 18th, 2006 at 7:04 am
Mindy,
It’s Dani!
May 18th, 2006 at 10:59 am
I’ll send you a copy of an article I wrote last year for the Chaplaincy magazine: Five Weddings and a few Conferences about my last summer trying to rationalise alternating my weekends between housemates’ weddings and going on various protest marches etc. Lots of fun stuff about trying to come to terms with marriage theology and feminist oriented injustice theology as a single man.
I won’t even sue you when you get published! How does that sound?
May 18th, 2006 at 12:22 pm
Fantastic! I can’t wait! I think that’s a great idea. I’ll buy your books!
May 19th, 2006 at 2:34 am
Let no one say that I did not admit you would be published before your English major sister who overthinks everything.
~Merry
May 19th, 2006 at 8:15 am
Mel, Saturday night you are coming to a party with me.
May 19th, 2006 at 8:21 am
Jenny, Saturday night I have to work at the cafe. Sorry! Wish I could.